Watching You Die
by JrockSpam's Requested Fics
Summary: The Gazette thought they had enough problems whem Ruki had an eating disorder, but things are about to get worse. Ruki's long hidden secret has finally risen to the surface, pulling a confused Reita along too. As the bassist begins to feel love for his unborn child, Ruki still regrets and hates it and rejects it as his. So what will happen? A Jrock Visual Kei Reituki mpreg. No smut


_**Writer's comment: For once, no sex. Why? Because I'm bored with dirt at the moment. I wanted to try something different. It seems mpreg was just this. So enjoy. I've never written anything like this before so please accept my apologies for anything wrong. I'm a bit uncomfortable about writing this to be honest… But it's all just sick, creative fun. I think.**_

Reita quickly stumbled after Ruki, the sound of the cheering crowd echoing behind them as they left the stage. Reita's proud, confident smile left his face as he left the fan's view, and turned to a worried, helpless look as he followed the singer. Ruki had looked happy and healthy with a strong walk all that time he had performed. Now off the stage, his spine could no longer hold his body straight, his eyes looked tired, and his walk was a staggered limp as he hopped down the corridor.

"Ruki-" Reita's sentence was interrupted as Ruki ripped his shirt off and threw it in his face.

"Hold this" the singer ordered, before collapsing on to his knees in front of a water dispenser, and latching his lipstick smeared mouth against the plastic blue tap.

Reita sighed, taking of his bass and handing it to a roadie that passed them, before beginning to fiddle with Ruki's top as he watched his friend practically milk the machine dry of liquid. Water dribbled from the corners of Ruki's mouth, dripping down his cheek and neck. 'At least he's drinking this time' Reita thought. He helped Ruki up and they headed to join the rest of their band in the dressing room. The five musicians pulled on their normal clothes, tidied up their stuff before quickly heading off one by one to their tour bus.

The next day, they performed again and Reita found himself repeating yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. He stumbled off stage after Ruki, once again finding himself blinded when the singer threw his shirt in his face. Reita fell against a wall with a loud bump, earning a little attention from some of the roadies. They didn't bother asking any questions anymore. The roadies were far too used to this sight. As Reita pulled the shirt off his face, he heard Ruki begin to cough uncontrollably, leaning down with his hands on his knees as deep, throaty coughs spat from his mouth. With a sigh, the bassist went to his friend's side and rubbed his back, giving him comforting words. When Ruki dropped on to all fours, his coughing beginning to stop, replaced by heavy gasps for air, Reita sat down on his heels and stroked the singer's double-coloured hair. Ruki hung his head practically in shame, letting out a long moan before his body fell down on to the cold, dirty lino-flooring. Reita froze, watching Ruki and waiting for him to move. A twitch would have been good enough but Ruki was as still as a statue, not even a finger daring to twitch.

"Ru?" Reita whispered before finally rushing down to his friend's side.

Now closer, he could see Ruki's body still rising and falling, indicating he was breathing safely. Reita let out a breath he wasn't aware of holding, before forcing Ruki over on to his back. The singer remained passed out, his head lolling from side to side as he was pushed over. Bent down on his toes, Reita fished his arms under his friend and hauled himself and Ruki up. Carrying Ruki bridal style, Reita headed to the dressing room, kicking the wooden door in a replacement for knocking. Seconds later, a topless Uruha appeared, taking a double take at limp Ruki. He rolled his eyes.

"Can you bring his stuff to the van, Uru? I seriously doubt he can" Reita gave a fake little laugh in an attempt to relax the situation.

Uruha groaned, rubbing in a circle motion to the sides of his forehead. Releasing another sigh, he allowed his hands to drop and asked "Do you want me to carry him this time?"

"No. It's okay"

"Come on. You've done almost every night now. I can tell your arms are killing you, so hand him over"

"It's fine"

"Jesus, stop being so protective" Uruha spat before disappearing into the busy dressing room and beginning to pack Ruki's things.

Reita caught Kai's worried glance and Aoi's confused stare in the corner of his sight. He gave them a reassuring smile but said nothing.

"How bad is he?" Aoi's deep voice echoed out, standing up from the make-up chair, hair brush in hand.

"Totally passed out"

Kai clicked his tongue, feeling rather insecure with the situation "Maybe we should take him to the doctors-"

"They'll just tell him to eat and drink properly. That we have already been telling him!" Uruha growled in annoyance, hooking the straps of Ruki's bags on to his shoulder.

"But he might listen to a doctor, ne?" Aoi pointed out in a hopeful tone.

"We know it'll make little difference" Uruha grumbled, pushing past Reita and heading towards the tour bus.

They all knew he was right. The tiny singer was a very stubborn character who had being ordered around unless it was to an advantage he desired. Strangely, Ruki's desires did not reside in his health so eating and drinking well don't bother him. In fact, his weight loss was a bonus to him. As long as he could finish his lives he didn't care. If finishing a live became a difficulty, then he'd change his diet but until such a thing occurred, no suggestions of eating properly would be considered.

"Rei" Kai grabbed the bassist's attention "You stay with Ruki in the car. Me and Aoi will bring your stuff and a spare change of clothes. Cool?"

Reita smiled thankful giving a little bow, before rushing off with the vocalist still securely in his arms. As usual, Ruki's state earned worried glances and the odd question as Reita headed down the corridor, but this was just too normal a thing. He could get used to the questions, he couldn't get used to his best mate suffering. With luck, Uruha had left the back door open for him, and once he stepped out he saw the guitarist standing outside the van, all ready to help through still in a foul mood. His annoyance was there, but he still cared nonetheless. He opened the door to the middle seats, allowing Reita to place the passed out singer in the first seat, Ruki's head lolling to one side. As soon as Reita was out the way, Uruha slammed the door shut with a grunt, before heading back inside. The bassist did as was planned and got in the vehicle from the other side and kept an eye on the singer. Reita pulled the singer down so his head was on his lap to make sure he didn't slide from his sitting position. Ruki's face twitched and a frown flinched on his brow.

"Ruki?" the blonde man whispered delicately, stroking his friend's hair red and black hair.

As he watched Ruki begin to slowly return to reality, all Reita could think of was his dark secrets; His little sickening, childish crush on Ruki. He had admitted it the vocalist years ago and was quickly, though kindly, turned down. Why? Ruki was straight and 'preferred the friendship anyway'. Reita sighed to himself sadly. If he had Ruki, he'd make sure none of this ever happened. He'd make sure Ruki drank and ate properly, and would always tell him how handsome he was and how his body insecurities were ridiculous because he was the undying image of perfection and a load of rubbish like that. He would look after him, make him happy if Ruki would let him; If Ruki wanted him in the same way that is. But he didn't. Ruki couldn't even keep a girlfriend for more than a few months. A year-long relationship with Ruki and you deserved trophies and a statue of you in a park. What was the point in even trying when you aren't even wanted? The sickest thing is love.

Within 20 minutes, the rest of the band joined the two in the car. Kai had kindly rummaged through Ruki's belongings for his medication and vitamins, popping out the correct amount and grabbing a bottle of water. He passed the collection of drugs and the unopened bottle to Reita, leaving him to help Ruki take the darn things once he was awake enough. While the bassist attempted to pop the pills in his friend's mouth, the others made themselves comfortable and double checked that they had collected everything from inside. Once satisfied and sure, Aoi took his place as driver and the band left to hit the now clear dark road. Just minutes into the journey, Kai was asleep. Uruha had made himself comfy in the front passenger seat with Aoi, who stared out the window with equal fatigue as he drove. Reita remained with Ruki on his lap, now slightly awake but unable to take in what was happening around him. The bassist stroked his friend's hair with care, appreciating the moment as he knew he wouldn't be able to get away with such an action when Ruki was fully awake later on.

The tour van headed to a hotel for the night, 3 rooms booked. As usual, Aoi took the room alone, enjoying his own space. Uruha and Kai shared a room, both heading straight to their beds with little conversation. Reita shared with Ruki. With the current recurring situations, this was a good thing as the sickly singer certainly needed to be watched over at night.

Kai helped Reita take a weak Ruki to the hotel room, gaining some peculiar looks from fellow people in the hotel's elevator. This was of little surprise as while Kai was completely back to his natural appearance, Reita still had his make-up on (having hurriedly swapped clothes before stepping out the van) and half-out-of-it Ruki was still entirely in his stage wear; make-up and all, his long black military jacket wrapped round his shoulders due to him stripping off his shirt earlier. Unsettled by the unfamiliar eyes leering at them, the two men hurried out the lift with their friend without hesitation. Being stared at on stage was cool. Being crowded into a stuffy lift with 5 people who stared at you as if you were a dirty stray dog wasn't at all pleasant. By the time the three had reached the hotel room Ruki was giggling to himself quietly, though gaining little attention from his band mates. Kai helped escort Ruki to a bed, laying him flat on it to rest, before bidding his two band mates a tired farewell for the night and heading to his own room, shutting the hotel room door quietly behind him in hopes of not disturbing the vocalist. With a sigh, Reita stood over Ruki, staring down at the half asleep vocalist.

"You okay?" he asked meekly, unsure of what to do at all.

Ruki nodded a little too enthusiastically, smiling up the bassist in a strange way. Reita hummed to himself, before reporting to the bathroom to freshen up. Ruki remained on his bed, staring up at the plain white ceiling, doubled and misted in his vision. He wriggled his shoulders in comfort as his dizzy spell began to fade, the uncomfortable part of his medication passing. He flinched as his blonde friend entered the room once again, their eyes immediately latching on to one another in an unsure glance.

"You sure you okay?" Reita asked again to reassure himself, walking over to sit at Ruki's side, leaning over him slightly and scanning his face for any negative signs.

Ruki giggled like a child before doing something Reita hadn't been expecting. The vocalist lifted himself up to gently press his lips on to Reita's, slowly opening in sync to make a proper lip lock. For the bassist, time stopped, his thoughts stopped as he fell into the wonderful sensation he had prayed to receive for so long. Ruki's lips were warm, soft and sweet, causing the bassist to crave more as he slipped his tongue passed those perfect lips and into his beautiful mouth to dance with another pink muscle. He felt Ruki's hands wonder down his body, finding his belt and beginning to undo it with ease.

Then reality hit him.

"Your tablets" he breathed out, breaking the kiss.

The vocalist frowned, cocking his head to one side, his hands freezing at his friends belt

"You're just doing it because of the tablets."

"No I'm not" Ruki giggled like a child "I want to kiss you" the singer pecked his lips "I want you. I want fun with you, you know"

Reita blinked in alarm, trying to think straight with maturity; trying to hold himself back. He forced himself to think painfully properly.

"No you don't" Reita shook his head, trying to speak in a matter-of-fact tone, but coming off sounding more hurt "it's just an effect of the medication" Reita began to lift his body away "You don't want this-"

"I do! Reita-" Ruki wrapped his arms round his friend's neck to stop him from leaving his side and brought him closer once again "Don't be boring"

"Boring?!" Reita spluttered

"You said you like me, right?" Ruki whispered, his lips being to close the distance between them, stopping less than an inch away from Reita's "Prove it. Have me"

"I can't-"

"You can" Ruki insisted like a child "Love me, fuck me, all that shit, do it. I want you to…"

The vocalist lips locked back on to Reita's, his arms pulling him closer and bring him down upon him, before Ruki felt a hand wondering up and down his side, before sliding towards his belt and beginning to release his body.

_**Well there's a start. Next chapter will be up soon**_


End file.
